Tyra Banks

  I am not a big fan of idols such as Korean celebrities or Lady Gaga.. and more.. The reason is because I am only interested in the songs, not the people who sing the songs. However, the only person I really like is Tyra Banks. She has been my role model since I was fifteen. I almost watched every shows of Tyra Banks and America's Next Top Model.

  She is a very proud African-American woman who is always confident and strong in anything she does. In every shows I watched, I have never seen her saying anybody is ugly. She especially tries to give high self esteem to women who are not happy about their body images or appearances. I would say that I also gained a little bit of confidence by watching her show.

  She is never afraid of trying new things on her because she has confidence in what she does. It is really hard to find similarities between celebrities and just normal people, but for Tyra, it seems that every girls are related on what she thinks. I feel that Tyra is really open minded and she is honest about herself. She has same problems of what other women have and she gives adivice to those who need help.

  She has helped the people who were rejected from the society because they are unpleasant looking, faced racism, unpopular, and other more. She could help them because herself is a strong woman who has gone through all those pains. I really really hope I could meet her even for once in the fashion industry because she is my role model! I know I can't be tall like her, but I could learn something from her :D

Aging and Aging..

   I know most people find it hard to believe, that I'm twenty years old in Korean age and eighteen in American age. It's because I'm small but, I am almost not a teenager. When I was seventeen or eighteen in Korean age, I wanted to be twenty years old really quick because I felt like I would have rights to do anything I want. :)  Guess what, I am twenty but I don't really feel free. Maybe because I'm still in school. Lol. If I graduate I will probably feel the freedom and fly like a bird.

  I feel like I am aging really fast because by next year, I will be twenty one... and then after ten years, I will be fricking thirty!!! I will be almost an AJUMMA. By then, I would probably get married....or not. :)
I'm kind of afraid to face the society by myself without any support but, at the same time, I'm really excited. I like trying new things and I love challenges even though I am not that confident.

  I keep imagining myself of ten years later because I wouldn't have the fresh face I have now.. and I'm already feeling that my face is becoming older...and older.... I really hope I could live in my age now forever..!! But I just get older and one day I will become an old, old mother..

 

Teachers in SPPS

In my old school, it was always hard to see teachers personally because the school was really big. I never really got to talk them but in classes only. It was really hard to know what teachers were like because they were like the professors. Plus, I was a really shy girl in the middle school and I was also afraid to talk to them:)

What I realized when I came to SPPS was that teachers are humans. I know this sounds really stupid but I really felt that way. since this school is much small, it is easy to get to know the teachers here. I have talked to many of the teachers here inside and outside of the school and they are very understanding and open minded. Many students think of a teacher as..... teacher. I don't really know how to explain this but I thought teachers were just teachers. I never imagined the "human side" of them. Lol.

Teachers here are really nice and friendly. I really think they really try hard to improve the school and the students. It is probably the toughest part for teachers to teach  foreign students when English is their second language. I see their efforts trying to explain each students hard vocabularies.

Anway, I will probably miss the teachers a lot when I graduate!!!!!

                                                And other teachers :D

Are you happy?

   I know you have seen this question before in a book :)  I want to share my part of  life in this blog.
I have heard this question many times mostly from my friends. Many of them ask me this question because I don't live with my parents and haven't before for several years. Not because I don't like them, but because I always studied abroad:) Many of them are curious of my life abroad and ask  me if it wasn't hard living in other countries without parents.

  I would usually answer that it was fine but truly, it wasn't. It was a very difficult times living in other house without parents because I always had to seek for love and especially if the people in the house treated me very badly. Anway, at that time, if I had to answer if I was happy, I would definately say that my life is like hell.

  As I grew up, of course it is still really hard to forget the pain I had in the past, but I would answer that I am the most happiest person :) I know I don't look like though lol. I realized that all those pain I had actually made me to become a stronger person. It is very easy for me to take critism from people even though they hurt sometimes because many people had criticized me when living without my parents. I always had to stand by myself because there were no older people to help me.

  Today, I know how to deal with defending myself and people much better. Since I became a religious person, I learned to be positive even when people made me angry. Although some people still criticize me, I would still love them and this is what makes my life happier. I don't need to hate people which will make my life negative. I am a really happy person because my religion has changed me find love which I am really thankful of. Whenever I face difficult situations, I suck it up, and then pray which makes my worries get away.

  Also, it is almost vacation and I am damn happy to attend college!!!! :D

Want to know make-up secret?

  
   Cosmetics are almost all girls' life, I would say. Without them, it is impossible for some girls to go outside. Make--up has become the most important part in fashion because  it makes all outfits look high fashion, punky, stylish, or any other styles. Without make-up, it will be boring to look at outfits in magazine and even in the streets. Currently, many make-up artists find many ways to apply make-up for models or celebrities to make them look even more beatiful. Certain ways of putting make-up also becomes a trend which most peple could follow the similar style. If Britney puts  her make-up in a very beautiful, and unique way, many people would follow.

   First, I would like to introduce this modern style of make-up.
 
This style is for the natural look which you can tell that there aren't much makeup on her. What she did was that she put foundation, orange blush, mascara, and glossy lipgloss. These are pretty very basic which most women do this style for daily makeup.



This style is a party look and you can tell that this is different from the top one. This one basically takes a lot of time to do, I guess almost forty minutes. No one would look attractive in parties if they did natural makeup. To be unique, and hot, women focus on their eyes to look bigger and sharper. This woman basically put black eyeliner, white eyeliner, mascara, and multiple colors of eye shadow. Every women looks hot with this party style!



This style is a punky style which emo women do this a lot. This is basically really easy to do. All you need is an eyeliner, and mascara which makes it look like a panda.:)  I personally don't really like this look because I just think is scary to wear it on daily lives. However, in a fashion magazine, I would love it. All you have to do for this makeup is apply eyeliner all over your eyes really thick.

 I really love to do makeup for people and I am confident that I can change women's look with it. Anyway, which style do you prefer the most?:)

Angel collection :)

  I really thank God that he has given me an opportunity to have a collection before I go to college! I was introduced to some of designers in Korea and they saw my portfolios and potential. Then they told me that I could work in an angel collection they are doing by the end of May. I have never made any clothes before but sketched and designed so I didn't know if I could fit in there.
 
  However, they told me that they would teach me how to make dresses and I was really happy. There are other many people working together but I'm the only youngest one.

  The goal was to make angel dresses and show them on a fashion show. This sounds very exciting but at the same time, it could be a hard thing to do because all of us have different opinions about the designs. However, we all worked so well because the leader had very good leadership and all our opinions became one. They gave me a huge opportunity to sketch the dresses and color them of what they say.

  I had to list all their ideas and draw them quickly as possible. I was really excited but at the same time, I had to worry about school works too.

The dresses are very simple and are bright colors.

I haven't finished yet but we have started making the clothes:) They will be finished by late May and I can't wait until the fashion show!!!!

My worst night mare..

  It was Friday night and I had the worst night mare ever in my life....

  It was in the midnight 3AM and I was still riding in a subway. There was no one except a scary looking guy and myself. I had to go to Yangjae station to school very early in the midnight because the school started very early that day. Looking around wondering why the subway did not stop, even once, I saw the man infront of me. He was in a sleep but I felt really scared because he looked really scary and ugly. I couldn't even tell what race he was. One hour passed but the subway didn't stop. I started worrying that I will be late in to the school.

  Suddenly, I felt the subway was going really fast and faster and I realized something was wrong. I thought I had to wake the man up and I looked front. 'AAAHHHHHH!!!!' I screamed so hard because his skin was turning red and was full of huge dirty acnes. I started running away from him but he started following me like a zombie. I mean, he was a zombie. He held a huge sharp knife and followed with his weird sound. I ran and ran really hoping that the subway could stop.

  I realized that I was dreaming but I couldn't wake up. I continued running until I reached the end. Oh crap, I saw the most horrible thing in my life. I saw human's meat hanging like pigs and the blood was all over the floor. I heard the zombie coming near me and my heart beat really fast thinking I am dead. The zombie came really near me and started cutting my thigh. I screamed sooo loud and I woke up from the dream. I immediately saw my thigh but nothing happened. I was sweating all over my body and the scariest thing was that it was midnight 3 AM............... yeah.... I was so scared that I slept again holding my pillow really tight

.

My plans for the summer vacation!

  The very very first thing that I will do for the summer vacation is SHOPPING!!!!!! I have not been shopping for soooo long and I'm really really frustrated... I seriously need to go shopping before I go to America. But I think Iwill still go shopping a lot when I'm in New York. :)

  Since I'm eighteen in An American age., I can find a job to earn some money. I have never had any jobs before when many of my friends have. I also want to experience a new life by having a part time job during the summer. I want to teach little students english because that's what I really want to do. Although I'm not a fan of kids, but I would love to teach them from alphabet A to Z :) lol

 

  I have also planned to meet my best friend who is coming from North Carolina. I want to hear how life is like for her in USA which I'm really interested in. I will travel with her in many places in Korea and have fun!!!

  One last thing, On August 20th, I will finally go to New York, Manhattan and arrive at the university dormetry.  I'm really excited because everything will be new to me and I really love new feelings :) It will definately be an awesome experience for me in US and I can't wait to design clothes!!

 

High school...

  I am truly tired of going to school these days.. There are sooo many reasons to explain why. I have been in SPPA since I was in 10th grade, nearly three years. The first year was exciting because everything was new. The second year, it was ok.. The third year, I started to get bored of the school..

  I really thought it would be exciting to be a senior because many seniors used to tell me that when I was in junior. However, after being a senior, there was nothing actually new. Since this school is really small, there aren't many people. This is one of the reason I am really frustrated.. In my old school, there were lots of students which was so much fun. I would never get bored talking because there were always new students. I just hoped that there could be more students and new activities.

  I don't know if it's only me but I feel like I became much much more lazy this semester because I don't have many classes and I just feel like graduating the school tomorrow. To be honest, I just want to have the summer vacation right now!! I want to travel so many places and study what I am interested in. I also want to have a part time job before I go to USA.

  I expect that this school will become much bigger after few years and it might probably get even better.,,,but, I'm graduating anyway..

  However, I really like teachers here because they are all nice and friendly. :)

Is being an obese something to be proud of or shamed of?

   Most women are always concerned about their weight because they want to be slim or normal size. However, I was really shoked to hear that there are very few women who wants to weight like obese. It was my first time to hear somebody wanting to be 1000pounds.. I mean, I would understand if a really skinny person want to gain weight.

  I know all women and men should be proud of how they look, but the question is, is being too overweight considered beautiful?. In the Tyra Banks Show below, the lady who's overweight says that she eats nearly 2000calories for her breakfast. She says that she hates to even move which one can tell because it takes so long time for her to go to the mail box. When she cooks, she has to sit in a chair and use a tong for cooking. Although she was proud of herself and she even wanted to gain more weight, I actually felt really pity for her. Not because of her appearance, but her health. It could be really dangerous for her to be sick such as heart attack... and so on.. I think she's not really knowing how difficult her future would be if she gains even more to 1000 pounds. She might just have to stay in bed.

   I also questioned myself about the lady's boyfriend. "Does he love her fat, or her personality?". He says that he likes really fat women like his girlfriend. I'm thinking if he really loves her, he would probably take care of the girlfriend's health. Would he try to break with her if she loses her weight?

  Anyway, I just.. really really hope that she could find some ways to keep herself healthy. This doesn't mean that she goes skinny. It means that maybe she could excersise at least fifteen minutes a day. I'm sure she will get way healthier.
   

The most precious one..

    My most precious things of all is my literature books.... No just kidding..! I usually don't really have extremely important things because I always throw away my stuff... but, there is just one thing I really..really love. I can never ever live without it.
  
   It is the most soft than any teddybear dolls and it is quite large. It doesn't have any legs or arms obviously.. and its colors are white and purple. Everytime I'm with it, I get sleepy and warm then I sleep. I always have it with me when I sleep, and when do internet. Yeah, it's obvious. My blanket is what I really really consider as important. :)

   It is so important because I can never sleep without it. It is also really soft that I always rub it in my face :) Its colors are purple and white which are my two favorite colors and my grandma bought for me. She is really sick right now and the blanket reminds me of her. I will probably keep this blanket until I die :)

How do I write my blog sometimes..?

  Ok... as I'm writing this, my eyes are half opened, and my mind is just blank. I keep thinking I should write about something... something really interesting.. but nothing comes into my mind. I look around my room thinking of topics to write about. Looking front, right, left, and back, I see bed, computer, television, desk, and so on. But I still can't find what to write. I was absent-minded for thirty minutes and still could find nothing. I keep thinking "should I write about my parents?" then I answer "no but that's too personal..". Then I think, "Then should I write about what I really love to eat?" and I answer " no then I will have toooo many things to write about".
 
  I look at the internet searching for what to write. Then I see some funny news about celebrities which I click the link and read and read. I giggle, gossip to my self and  find out thirty minutes are already gone. I slap my face and close the website and I start to think about my blog.

  I get back to the blog writing and see nothing written. More and more, I get frustrated and think maybe I could write about how pizza is made. I suddenly remember that I had some pizza that was left over and eats it thinking I will have a great idea for the blog by then. I finish eating it, and I come back to the computer thinking I got an idea. I stare at the monitor, my hands on the keyboard, and freeze. I hear the clock tik tok tik tok and I breathe out deeply. Then I start to write about how I write my blog sometimes..............


 
 

Trip to Yangpyeong!!

   It was the first time to know that there was "Yangpyeong" in Korea for me because I don't really travel in Korea a lot..  SPPA finally!,,, finally decided to give the students a good and fun day. Yeah of course I was waiting for this day to come because it's so much better than just sitting in class bored..:) haha

  Anyway, so all of the students and teachers headed to the Yangpyeong by the buses and we were all asleep. I really had a great time in the bus because I slept like I was in my bed. When we all arrived to the place, I was still really sleepy and couldn't open my eyes on the sun. But, I was excited that I was going to eat something since it's lunch time. I waited... and waited...

  Then suddenly, people started crowding "ajumma" who works there. She was making tofu which was the first time for me to see how it's made. I was kind of really surprised to see how it's made because it's 100% pure, and healthy tofu. We all ate a very healthy food which was because I don't really have to worry about the calories :) But, I can never eat like that for the rest of my life because I go crazy if I don't eat meet. I love meet a lot.

  After the lunch, we also made Injulmi and I was also surprised to see it was made of just rice and some kind of flour and I was thinking "I'm I really a Korean?..".  I felt like I was a foreigner when I saw how it was made because I knew nothing..:) This was probably new to all the teachers and I really wondered what they would think about the culture.

  We also went to pick some fresh strawberries which I really loved. I couldn't stop eating them because they were soooo delicious. They are really expensive when I have to buy them in markets, and that's why I ate them until my stomach was about to burst. I had so much fun eating them with Miss Stolerman. We both kept feeding only the baby rabbits because they were so cute :)


  Lastly, we went to the train bicyling which I loved the most!!! We all banged each other which was awesome. I especially liked it when the speed was really fast.

  So, overall, it was a good trip although I was really sleepy all day. It was a good experience and I will never forget this day!

Friends or Family?

  Friends and family are both really important to me. However, I really feel comfortable and more related to friends. Friends are much eaiser and fun to talk to. They understand me better and know how I feel. When I tell my family how I feel, they do not really listen. :) Usually when I meet with my best friends, I tell them about my family, and myself a lot. I don't really talk about my friends to my parents because they are not interested. Friends are also even open minded. I can do many fun things such as sleepovers and more. Parents don't really like me to do sleepovers and have fun outside. I guess they just want me to stay at home with them but no way! haha...
 
  One day, I was really depressed and my mom asked me why. Although I wasn't in a mood of telling her, I told her everything about what had happened that day because I thought she would understand me. However, she said that she can't really do anything to help me because she was in asleep. I just told her everything and I regreted that I told her!.. All she did was sleeping.... But, I understand because she was really tired that day..... Anyway, so then I went to my best friend and told her how I felt about that day, and my mother! She comforted me and I found out she had the same problem with me which I really felt that she really cares about me . Of course, my parents support me too:)

  I love my both family and friends!!!

What is a good hair?

   Recently, I have watched a show from Tyra Banks which talked about 'Good hair". When I watched it, I just thought it would talk about best celeb hairstyles and so on... But it wasn't. It was very sad to me because it was an emotinal topic. I know people wouldn't understand why I say the show was sad, but I was kind of shocked to see how some people felt about their hair.

  In a black community, many black people consider bad hair as a puffy hair. In the show, it said that most black people's natural hair are tightly poofy. But, what I think it's sad is that many of them do not like their natural hair and put weave, or chemical instead even from when they are very young.
 



(natural hair)

   In the Tyra Banks Show, there were about five mothers who straightened their children's hair even when they are still really young. In the show, there was a four year old girl who had her hair straightened by her mom but cried the whole time she got her hair straightened. After her hair was done, she started smiling in the mirror. The smile from the girl was painful rather than happy when I watched it. I really think her mother shouldn't have done that to her when she cried the whole time she had her hair straightened. Although she smiled at last, it felt like her mom forced her to do it. I also think that any four year old girl look pretty with any kinds of hair........

   This doesn't mean that they shouldn't do anything to their hair, but I really hope they feel confident and proud of what they are born with. It is good to have new hairstyles with weaves and chemicals, but everyone's natural hair is beautiful. I hope many black women realize how beautiful their hair is and not be too stressed about it.

   From my experience, I have met many black women when I was in Kenya. Many of them did not like their hair and told me they wished to have hair like mine. I always thought that non of them were ugly with their hair.  I just want to say that everyone looks beautiful, hot, and sexy with their natural hair!!

The weirdest taxi driver ever..!!

  This was about two and a half years ago when I was in China. When I was in China, I lived in a place where there are many Koreans, Japanese, and other foreign people. Early in the morning, I had to go to meet my friends in the weekend. I always had to take a taxi to go to a town because there were no buses.  From my experience in China, there were some people who really hated Japanese because of the history and so on... Obviously it's not a very good thing. So the story starts.....
 
  So I had to catch a taxi and waited on a very sunny day for a taxi. I was really in a hurry because I was kind of late. I finally caught this old taxi and got in. I told the driver to go to the "Justco" which was about 30 minutes long with a taxi. Of course I said it in Chinese although I wasn't good at Chinese :) About a half way to the Justco, the driver asked me if I was from Japan. (I was often mistaken as a Japanese when I was in China.) I was so bored that I said I was from Japan. I mean, I just wanted to joke with him.

  In the front mirror of the car, I saw his face with an anger. I had no idea what that was for but he looked at me as if he was going to kill me!. I was really nervous and he shouted that I get out of the car. He stopped the car and he told me to get out of the taxi. I was kind of surprised and said that I was Korean. He still didn't believe me and argued that I was Japanese. He was so angry that I couldn't argue with him any more. I got off the taxi, very humiliated and caught another taxi in the middle of the road. I felt kind of cheated and ignored. Good thing was that I did not pay for the taxi and I paid less to the second taxi I got on.

 Up to now, I still don't understand why he did that because even if I was a Japanese, he shouldn't have treated me that way. Anway, I think he is really weird...... I just hope he doesn't treat like that to other Japanese people!

Mean Girls 2

  Mean girls 2 is a comedy and romance movie played by Johanna (Jo) the main character, Amanda (Mandi), Abigail (Abby), Tyler Adams. The story starts with Jo who is a tomboy girl with her dad, an engineer. She goes to a high school and she gets attention from people for being pretty. In the school, there is the most poplular girl called Amanda and her two followers always being mean to Abby, a very rich girl because they are jealous. Jo once helps Abby run away from the mean girls and goes to Abby's house. Abby's dad sees Jo and secretly asks her to be Abby's bodyguard for lots of money. Jo agrees and she becomes close to Abby. They become best friend and the mean girls start to pick on Jo.


(The three mean girls)

 Jo falls in love with Tyler Adams, who is Mandi's stepbrother but Mandi feels insulted. Jo becomes more and more popular and she becomes mean to people. She forgets who she is and all her friends. However, Tyler tells her that she has changed and he doesn't like the way she is mean to others just like Mandi. Jo becomes guilty and realizes she has changed. Mandi keeps trying to break Jo and Tyler up by damaging Jo's dad's car. Jo and Abby become mad and revenge Mandi by inviting everyone in Abby's house when it's Mandi's birthday. Mandi finds no one at her party and revenges Jo. She steals school's money and tells the principle that Jo stole the money. Jo is about to get expelled but the principal finally finds out that Mandi was the one who stole. Mandi gets arrested and the movie ends happily.

 At first, I was really interested in the movie because I really liked the way the mean girls are being mean to others. They really acted mean and I could definately tell that they were "plastics" in the school. I also liked how Jo acted really tough towards the mean girls which started to get interesting. Definately, I liked the part where Jo and Tyler get along because they were a very fine couple. :)

(Tyler and Jo)
 However, I did not like the ending of the movie.... The ending was just so obvious. I expected the ending to be something that no one would have expected to happen. Although it was a happy ending, I think it would have been better if the mean girls realized what they did wrong.

 I would compare the mean girls 2 with the House Bunny. House Bunny is also a movie that is about popularity. Shalie from House bunny goes to a college dormetry to be the house mother. Seven nerdy girls live together in a big dorm but the dorm is about to be removed because nobody wants to live with them. They must get at least 30 people to live there. Shalie tries to make people live in the dorm by changing the girls into very hot and sexy. They all gain confidence and many people want to join the house. However, the girls turn mean and pick them by appearances. They soon realize that they have changed into mean girls and stop being mean.  They both relate because the girls change really mean when they become popular. However, they learn that they were being wrong to others and they become kind again.


Before


A



After


  The Mean Girls 2 give a message that being popular and mean doesn't lead you to anything but failure. It also says that minority unpopular girls get hurt by mean girls because of how they are judged by appearance. I think it is a good message because many young people judge others on facial appearances.

I really want to sing..!!

  When I was little, I really wanted to sing well in front of people so that I can get attention from them and feel good about myself. First of all, I'm really bad at singing. My voice doesn't come out the way I want when I really want to sing like Beyonce..haha :) I'm afraid to sing infront of people because I know I will mess the song. I think in Korea, singing is what most men and women want to be good at yet in America, dancing is what most men and women want to be good at. I want to be good at both:)

  Do I really need to take a vocal lesson? I think I should take it because it's one way to gain confidence and feel good about myself. I know everyone has their own talents, like I can design clothes, but it seems I always look for more talents.

 Last year, I met Buyoung in our school and I was really inspired by her singing like a singer. She really sings well and I can never sing in front of her :) Although I can't sing like that, I just want at least to sing ok. Or, I just hope people to never dare me sing infront of them... My face gets red and my heart beats really fast when I sing in front of people or even a friend because  I am scared to death that they will laugh at me. By this you can tell how bad I am in singing...

How could we stop people throwing garbage?

So many students in SPPA dirtified the library by throwing away the garbages from what they ate. To be honest, I was one of them... but just twice:) Anyway, teachers are concerned about this problem and maybe I could give them some suggestions.

I think maybe teachers could ask students to pick up the litters before the class end. I know this isn't a happy thing for students but maybe it could help....

Or, I think the best way is to give detentions to students if they are caught littering because I hate detention.

But, I know it could be hard to catch someone littering. We can also make posters persuading students to not to litter around. 

Posters like these could stop littering :)

Or posters like "Big Brother is Watching You So Stop Littering" might help

I also think littering needs to stop because it does not only affect the school, but it also affects the world because the habbits of throwing litters on the ground will never stop even outside of the school. So, I will also change the habbit..:)

How to stop being jealous...

How you ever felt jealous of anyone maybe because of love, money, or intelligence? I am sure everybody has felt it lots of time. I usually feel jealous towards some people if they do something better than me. One weird thing about me is that I even feel jealous when a puppy likes somebody than me:) Although in my mind, I do feel it's a bad thing to feel that way. So! I thought about how to stop being jealous of others....

First, we should be positive. For example, if your ex-boyfriend has a new girl and you feel jealous, just think "Fine, I'll get a better boyfriend" or "I look so much hotter than her".

Secondly, be confident. If you feel jealousy towards people, you can loose self-esteem. You will keep thinking that the person you are jealous of is better than you which gives you low self-esteem. Just get over it and be confident. But, don't be too proud of your self because it isn't good:)